Middle of the Night Musings: A New Beginning

Hi there — welcome to Petals & Hoofprints.

I’m currently four days out from surgery, and to be honest, yesterday was tough. One of those days that tests your limits and patience, which naturally meant I didn’t get much sleep. But sometimes, in those quiet, restless hours, ideas start bubbling up — some good, some questionable — but ideas nonetheless.

One of those 2 a.m. musings?
Maybe it’s time I started writing again.

If you didn’t know, once upon a time (in what feels like another life), I went to school for journalism. But somewhere along the way, I fell in love with psychology and found my path in special education. Writing, however, has always lingered in the background.

The past two years have been… a lot. A whirlwind of health scares, surgeries, long recoveries, and unexpected pivots. And while it’s been hard — really hard — I’ve also found beauty in the in-between moments. Like discovering a passion for growing cut flowers, or the peace that comes from mucking stalls for the first time on your own in over a year and hearing nothing but horses running around in the field.

If you’re just stumbling across this and don’t know me personally, here’s the lightning-round version of what led me here:

Two summers ago, I was diagnosed with bilateral pulmonary embolisms and a clot on my heart — caused by my VA shunt. Most cases resolve over time. Mine didn’t. Six months later, I could barely climb the stairs without gasping for breath. I knew something was deeply wrong.

I’ve always believed in self-advocacy. No one knows your body better than you do. That belief took me beyond our local hospital to a specialist who confirmed what I suspected: I had developed CTEPH — a rare, chronic complication from the embolisms. The solution? A highly specialized surgery called a PTE. Thankfully, one of the few surgeons who performs it was nearby, and last summer, I underwent the procedure.

Recovery? Brutal. But I made it. And somewhere in the middle of all that healing, I found a new rhythm: growing flowers.

Now, a year later, I’m post-op again — this time replacing the original VA shunt with a VP shunt, in hopes of finally closing this chapter. And in the middle of the night, I thought:
Maybe this is the right time to start telling the story.

So here we are. This blog is where flowers meet real life — the messy, meaningful, horse-mucking, petal-picking kind of life. I’ll be writing from the quiet moments of healing, and from the loud chaos of returning to days where I leave the house by 7am and don’t get back until 8pm between work, horses, and flowers! The kind of busy that I enjoy and strive off of.

Thanks for being here. Whether you’re a fellow flower lover, a chronic illness warrior, a horse girl at heart, or just someone who stumbled across this post — I hope you find something in these words that feels like home.

Until next time